I know I should be crawling into bed but, I just can't without sharing something that touched my heart tonight after getting to experience the Matthew West concert with 3 of the most amazing women in my life right now. It wasn't about getting to meet Matthew West, Mike's Chair, & Lindsay McCaul after the concert and their amazing Christian loving words that touched my life, it was something much more deeper that took me back, brought me back down, and had me have my eyes open.
It started with the words of opening act,Ever Found singing their song about you're never beyond repair Leading to Lindsay's songs "Take My Hand" and "Say My Name". Her last two songs hit me, literally as I'm getting a nudge by my adoptive mommy/GAC community adviser, to just listen to her lyrics. She talked about going through a raging storm when we want things to go our way however, God has a another plan, especially when we're going through a crazy storm, we should just tell him, Lord take my hand.
During Mike Chair's set, I knew that I would get emotional during Someone Worth Dying For because that constantly I've been reminded that I am someone worth dying for and God didn't make a mistake. They progressed in to a cover of How He Loved Us- the very same song the nurse was singing in the ER room the morning of my car accident 2 years ago. Concluding their set with Keep on Changing the World. Yes, after speaking with them, regardless of where you go, one person with the simplest of things even with baton twirling or just in speaking, can change the world.
Matthew West's set was amazing. I love how he's an artist who's taking his calling from God to make a difference in this world through ministry and to take the stories of every day people and turn them into songs. I realized I was moved in so many ways and I knew God was having me a reality check. Constantly he kept on telling us how we're running on God's time, not ours. Funny how one of his stories was about how things happen when God wants them to, not when we want them to. It was even so amazing when Renee, the woman who inspired his song Forgiveness, came out and told her inspiration about her 22 year old daughter losing her life by a 24 year old. I about wanted to break down when he played this song. All I could think was back to 8/14/12, the day I was pretty told, "Shape up or Ship Out!" I was having a hard time forgiving the gentleman who hit my mother and I. I was blaming him for all the problems since the accident. Then I thought about a few parts of my past which, no one should go through and have to live in silence for all their lives, not being able to come out with. Thinking of how I have had a hard time forgiving those who hurt me and broke me. All of this has caused me to pretty much want to curl into a ball and push someone away, that shouldn't be, apparently. When he say his song about being wonderfully made and strong enough, I know that God has made us wonderfully no matter our appearance and through God, all things are possible.
Everything came together and God doing his work, when part 2 of the Sisters in Christ intervention continued /concluded. It has been brought to my attention, I am a thinker, researcher, and interpreter. I do nothing eat, breathe, and live by researching, thinking, and interpreting or I'm practicing or serving God at Church. Whatever the case, I'm applying that same concept to my personal life. (WHAT, I'm allowed to have a personal life!) I'm constantly trying to analyze the meaning of everything and not just letting God do his thing. Also, I need to just throw out my list of perfection! If I have my eyes so focused on perfection and only hoping God will let that list exist, I'll never be able to see something great in my life. Most importantly, I really need to just stop listening to rest of the world and letting it effect on me. God knows the desires of my heart, he knows what my heart feels and sees, and who gives a flip what the outside factors believe. Ultimately, I learned that yes, I'm afraid. I'm scared to death because I'm not in control. In the past I've always pushed people away or I've ran. Apparently this time, I am not suppose to.
Well all I know, God had a plan for me to be there tonight with those 3 ladies and to hear the msg from my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. I don't know what's going to happen but, God will show me and he's going to help me make it through this storm.
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