Hello! Aloha! Hola!! I'm sorry I've been away for awhile but, I guess you can say I've done some soul searching so to speak and had to catch up on things. However, I'm finally taking the time out just provide a little insight to what I've learned during the first 20 days of 2013. It all began with have the strength to want to celebrate life and thank God for providing me with courage!
I started the year out by wanting to close a chapter on my life. I'll admit, after 2 and half days of babysitting and trying to play catch up in my book writing, I dreaded coming back to Brownwood and attending YMI 2013 but, I knew God had his perfect plan for me and what was meant for me to experience. Even if I didn't know what was going on, I just wanted put what had happened in 2012 behind me. Nevertheless, I had a new look on things and a new perspective on everything.
The trip opened my eyes that my theories were all wrong. I really was on God's plan. It still amazes me that I spoke out about a personal issue to a crowd of 200+. Somehow, God knew that this was a part of something greater! So many were proud of me for speaking out and often wondered how I could be so radiant. All I knew it was God's plan.
Upon my return, I knew it wasn't going to be easy. Still I had a new outlook. I just began to go with the flow of things. I even started doing things out of the norm! More importantly, even after running into the heart breaker, I really felt, I was done & no more toxic friendship.
Finally, I am begin to feel free. No more power being held over me. I gained my strength and had control again! It was like a new me was appearing.
While bonding with my sisters this weekend, I learned that everything truly does happen on God's time and for his reasons, just like Deacon John had mentioned in Friday's sermon. Though many found it strange I was single, never been in a relationship, but had no fear, one sister said, "At the right time, it'll happen."
Today I conquered a few more fears. I sang publicly!! Singing "On My Own," with emotions and feelings. Despite having my head cold, it still turned out great. One of my sisters told me I really was using God's gift. Apparently I can sing and I do have a voice that needs to be heard. I stopped being my own worst judge!!
Lastly, tonight with my childhood best friend, my eyes opened. Having great bonding time allowed us to catch up and pick up where we left off. Sometimes I feels she's like my sister and she knows me better than I know my own self. The overall excitement in Ft. Worth was filled with just different experiences. I just love d getting to get away from the norm. She allowed me to see things differently. Maybe I'll just have to pray on a few issues. We'll just have to see where the wind takes us.
All in all, I have began to see, this semester isn't about perfection but, just doing the will of God and seeing what is in store. Maybe I won't be 25 and never been kissed. Maybe the ideal guy who'll come into my life will be the opposite of what I've dreamed of. It doesn't matter, I'm about forgetting 2012 and perfection. Realizing that I am what I've overcome
