I know it's been way to long since I have lost written.
I first must say Happy New Year!!! I hope this year y'all will be an amazing, full of good fortunes and good health, and so much more! More importantly shoot for the stars!!
Tonight I was asked "What's next in the world of J Ko"
For one moment I actually found myself wondering the same thing. I close my eyes and think this time in August I will have my Master's in hand, have been back in the country for a year, and almost ready to hopefully begin my PhD program. Yet, the question can be, what does my heart want and what are my dreams.
I will not completely say what I did this past week- NO I am not ashamed of what I did however; I just don't feel it's all too important I go into detail. I did go after a dream. For over 20 years, I have dreamed of being a part of something and a short few years after that, putting my talent. Only it seemed time was never right and I didn't believe in myself enough or something like that.
I don't know going into my last academic semester (followed by a short internship), where this might lead me but, all I know I am at God's hands and he knows exactly what I need and where I need to be. Still, a girl has to follow her heart and see what happens, regardless of what people say. Mostly, we only have today, we shouldn't live with any regrets.
Maybe during this time, I'll finish my research and it'll get published, I'll get my book finished, write a few more songs, or even do something new. Who knows what this year will bring. All I know is I am a dream and I do have a lot of things I want to do but,I do want to find the other half of my heart.
A year from now, I would love nothing more to be back in the place where I found myself, working in the field of sports ministry, and training in the sport that saved me. I know I've been told by someone dear to my heart, told me for every year of being in a sport, our body ages 5 year. A part of me feels that could be true, especially with my knee, ankle, and back but, I love what I am doing.
In the back of my mind, since my parents never really got a honeymoon, celebrated any major anniversary, and my daddy never gets to travel with my mom and I or even me on any of my big adventures as I compete. A part of me would love to be able to get back on the international stage one more time and represent a country with pride, dignity, grace, and glorifying God. More importantly, I would love to go back to the first time I got to really take the big leap, go back to the place where I didn't know my own strengths and faith, and have my parents be there to cheer me on.
The last half of 2013, I saw change and found myself. My relationship with God grew stronger, my passion for life, education, service, and my sport grew, and my relationship with some amazing people, especially coaches, became clear and more meaningful. I also developed a hole in my heart because I have this desire to go back to the place where my heart is.
People my never understand who I have become or what story, stories I have to tell but, one day y'all will. I can only hope you can be encouraged to get over your fears and try something new! Go after your dreams!!
So here's to hanging on and seeing where this year leads us!!
Cheers and blessings mates!!
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