Coming clean about the mystery man

Sitting in the white Church
Looking at Jesus
Nailed upon the cross
I began to ask God to help me
Help to be forgiven for what I've done wrong
Help me to forgive myself for the times I have been angry
For the past 3 months I have held a little too much anger
Towards someone who could possible deserve it
But I
As a daughter of Christ
Should go without anger
Something must be done

My time came to really become more open
Dig deep down inside of me
To rid myself of this anger and frustration
Something I thought I had gotten rid of 2 weeks prior
But a part of me
Still believe wasn't totally honest

I could see in my mind
Me telling this boy
Just please always be yourself
Always be honest and never hide behind anything
Yet here I was posing behind things
I was lying to him about something

How simple would it have been
To just tell him straight to his face
Look deep into this stained glass eyes
And tell him
"Yes my friend,
You were the one who shattered my heart
Not because of reasons you might think.
But for the reasons that the world may find
Hard to even comprehend or find just cause.
My reasoning is this:
You slammed the door in my face.
You acted as if you were two people.
Started to treat me differently when people were around
Almost as if you were ashamed of me
Which is your problem
We should be accepting and loving
I've often prayed to God
Asking him where the man
Who was very full of life
God's grace and love
Has drifted off too
Not this boy who has faded
And began to hide away
I know you've got a problem with me
And getting to travel to Sydney
So be honest why you've started to roll your eyes
Don't lie
Also learn to follow through.
If you say you're going to do something
DO IT!
Mostly, friends learn to communicate with each other.
Friendships are a 2 way street.
Learn to pick up your little phone
Check in on me and say hey how ya doing
If a week goes by and there's no exchanges of salutations
Nevertheless regardless of it all.
I'm still going to love you no matter what you've done
And always support you, even if you're not involved or
Shining as bright as a star
Because that's what friends do
I forgive you and only pray for you."

Maybe in time
The good Lord will allow me
The opportunity to come clean with him
Yet for now
God knows the truth
He knows where my heart lies
He knows where my intentions are
Hopefully it'll all come clear
And I'll soon learn the importance
Of patience and retaining grace

For now
I'll just understand
Through Christ all things are possible
And he'll one day give me the understanding
Upon why everything happens
And why people are in my life