The Intervention that Changed my Life

Alright you lovely and supportive readers of J Ko's blog, this probably will be my only blog of the week especially since I'm working on a few deadlines. My apologies in advance if you were hoping for more reads to help you go to sleep or just pure reading enjoyment.

All I can say, the past 72 hours God has been in complete control of things.
I'm not for sure what's really going on
Other than he's trying to have my eyes open
And using the people in my life to tell me something he's wanting me to hear
Maybe I needed this intervention but, I'm not for sure
I've been so blinded by my work, serving, my research, and my training
I had literally tried to turn everything into research
Thinking that was the best defense for me to stay focus
Little did I know I'd own up to the truth
The truth is- I'm FREAKIN' SCARED

Yes that's right sports fans you've heard it hear,
I'm scared and all I've even known, been told is
You make a mistake, you fix it
Therefore, you keep your head in the books
Your hands on your batons
And your heart serving the Lord
That's all I've really wanted to do this semester
Stay out of the spotlight and keep my head in the game
But wait-
All of that sounds good but, is that God's plan?

I've done something that I'm going to own up too
I've tried to run in some form from God's plan
I've probably turned into  a scarred cat because why
I didn't know what to do with what God was giving me
I couldn't admit it to myself
Yet people around me (who really have been able to figure me out)
Could really tell what I was doing
Therefore, they decided I needed a little intervention.

Here's the outcome of the intervention:

I apparently can go on caring about the world
Serving the Lord and giving back
Always being myself and going about life
Dedicating my time to my studies and athletic career (what I'm trying to rebuild)
I've got all these educational and professional plans talked about
Yet when it comes to personal plans
I just have a list of a perfect man, that needed to be thrown out the window.
I walk around not letting anyone get close to me because the moment it does
I fall apart and push them away, not allowing God's work to be done
I will not own up to the fact that I'm a scared to death of a personal life
Do to the fact that I never allowed myself to see it was possible or worth the time
The biggest thing is, if I continued waltzing down the path I am going
I'll continue to over think and analyze EVERYTHING and EVERYONE
I need to stop being a researcher/interpreter/an athlete for one moment
And embrace the goodness that God's blest me with.
Ultimately, if I continue to let the world's view bother me or scare me
I'll be unable to see what God's trying to tell me or show me

Nevertheless,
As it was put to me in various ways
I need to learn that yes, having a personal life, not published everywhere
Is completely normal and actually healthy, hence a balance in life
The worst thing I could do is reflect on the past
Stop worrying about making mistakes again
Look at what I've overcome and how far I've gotten
Continue showing gratitude to those who are my angels by my side
And open my big eyes to see that God's trying to tell me about certain characters
Let him take my hand and just live
See what I see how you can look at person
See kindness, gratitude, the light, and a Godly person
Be open to what God is doing in your life
And understand that the characters in your life need you
And you need them.
More importantly-
STOP LIVING IN THE LIBRARY, CALVARY, AND THE ZONE
AND LET PEOPLE GET TO SEE WHAT "WE" SEE IN YOU
YOU HAVE SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE AND SHARE WITH THE WORLD.
If I didn't stop to do this, this group of people have warned me
You'll never truly be able to see what God's great plan is for you


With all of that being said,
I don't know where I'm going or what's going to happen
All I can safely say to you is this
God's in control, he's holding my hand, and I know what I see and feel
I'm humbled, honest, and willing to see things being done on God's time