It's day 6 of Lent and I've been considering how I've been traveling on this crazy journey so far an sometimes I feel really lost. I know this was going to be an interesting task to take on but, I have always known God was in control. Despite it all, I have been thinking the perfect reflection for today.
As I was preparing my devotional for tonight's FCA, I did hit a few snags in the road. I didn't expect the turnovers, interceptions, or curve balls that were given to me. Yes, I panicked and didn't know what to do. I was labeled a few terms that I've never been labeled before. Yet, I knew God would help me to keep my head strong.
God's timing may not always seem the best for us but, we have to understand he does things when he believes we need it. Sometimes we are complete messes or disasters because of our pasts or what might be in our closets, well, I just want to tell you that it's ok to have pasts and skeletons but, they don't have to haunt you. You have to be able to allow yourself to understand "yes, I have a past and skeletons but, they don't control me and they don't define me. Eventually this will work out and it's going to be a brand new day."
It might be a long process to see this through but, it is possible to let it all go. Letting go might be scary but, it's something amazing and beautiful. God is there with you and will stay with you to see you through. He'll be your rock, refuge, and salvation. BUT there's one issue.
If we refuse to deal with the past and let it become an internalization process, it'll be something that will cause anger, blackening, and tell people you don't want to get to me. This could be an issue and cause more heart and harm than you might think.
Kids, take it from someone who's been there and seen the ugly side of life where it's pretty dark and cold. It's like you're walking in a sea of the lost searching for something and you just can't find it. You really say and do things that really cause guilt and dismay.
Maybe that's you. You're dealing with some of the darkness in your life and you don't know what do but, that's ok. It's not a crime. You just have to be willing to submit yourself to the brighter side of life.
It may sound crazy that you can go from dark to light but, it's possible. People don't give me the benefit of the doubt with what I've seen, done, and experienced in almost 25 years. I'll admit I'm not proud of things but, through the help and love of so many, I have been able to stop walking down the broken road alone to walk it with some amazing people. The scariest thing for me now which, I find more scary than anything else is realizing that my past can no longer define me and harm me, it can only help me get to the next step in life.
So here's my tip of the day: STOP RUNNING FROM YOUR PAST!! START RUNNING TO THE LIGHT!!
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