Wednesday, August 29, 2012
The Changes of me
I know here lately I've been posting songs, granted my life could be a song I suppose but, I don't evne know how many verses it'd be or how the chorus might even sound. I know even when I'm knee deep in research, reading about athletes, reading the responses of my data, and all, my faith never leaves me. I t couldn't be more thankful for this opportunity. For those of you who don't know, at the start of the month, I may not have had the opportunity. However, God had a plan that I didn't even know about. God surely know's the destiny for us all.
As I sat reading Shawn Johnson's bio today for my 1st of 3 research papers, I started reading about her struggles, her bonding with her parents, her growing in her faith, and her connection with her coach, I begin thinking about my life and what I've overcome. I first started thinking of how God is so amazing. He gives you opportunities and second chances when you are willing to be his servant, being humble, willing to face humility, and answer his call.
My life began to change this past summer when I was given permission to work with an amazing coach who helped me to overcome the past. I had have had so many ghost in my closet that it's not always shared with the world. On the day that I thought my life was over, when I was willing to face 2 people who believe in my education, she came out and told me the most amazing words. "You're a beautiful creation and daughter of God. You're time isn't done. There's still much for you to do on this earth." After 2 hours of talking on what seemed to be the most devastating day of my life, it made me realize, change needed to come. God needed me to open my life. Even though things weren't going to be the same, I really hadn't lost anything.
In 2010, he could have taken my life but, he didn't. He gave me life. In 2011 he blest me with a new Coach who help me achieve one of my dreams on my bucket list in my sport. In 2012, he now lead me to add a another coach, a woman of God, who yes when it's time pushes me and drives me, but when needed is a mentor and friend. She showed that when I was at my lowest point that it was the world telling me I wasn't good enough. Yet, after that converstation, she help me see that, regradless of my past and my medical conditions, I truly was a beautiful gift, like of us on earth, and he didn't take me I wanted him to. Mostly, I believe it set the tone for me.
I was shown tough love. Tough love that was needed. Tough love that I didn't want to see but had to see.
Since that day, my life has changed. God has presented the world in a new light to me. He has shown me that this change was long over do and I needed to realize humliation and humbleness needed to occur. I am accepting responsibilties for my actions. I am holding myself accountable for my actions. I'm driven and becoming more balanced. Yes, I may be knee deep in research but, I still take the time to thank God for my amazing family for their love and support.
My parents have become so understanding in me not coming home every weekend or getting to see me as much as last year. Our relationship has continued to grow after a few set backs this Summer but, God truly is showing us that our love is never failing.
I'm not for sure what's going to happen but, God he surely is in control.
My family here at HPU is not always understanding of why certain decisions have been made but, they are supportive of my dedication to my support on a competitive level and my research/education.
Regardless of what's next, I can't wait to see where God's leading me. Each day is a new adventure that I'm working harder each day. Striving to live to the fullest but, still walking with a smile on my face and full of confidence. I am blessed!
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